Intoxication
by paggle14
Summary: "I'm really glad I have speed dial on this mushroom, my fingers are paralysed so I had to use some peanuts to call you."  An adorable drunken Reid with JJ to help him? What could happen? Please r&r
1. Chapter 1

**A.N : ****Hi again guys! **

**I don't want to disappoint the few people who have asked me to write a multi-chapter story, but this idea popped into my head, and I just had to write it out. I don't see it turning into a multi-chapter fic, sorry!**

**Once again, here's one for all the Spencer+JJ lovers **

**Paggle x**

It was dark outside, on a chilly February night. The long road was quiet, almost too quiet. That is, until you made your way towards one of the many clubs and pubs scattered along each side of the road. When approaching them, you could hear the music blaring from the interior, and the cheers of the building's occupants, many of whom were far too drunk to remember at least half of the happenings of the evening. The road was still, the only things moving were the branches and leaves of the trees, and the odd drunk passed-out behind a wheelie-bin.

Suddenly, the main door to one of the smaller clubs was flung open, only to reveal two figures emerging from the darkness within. On closer inspection, one of the figures was male, and one was female. The woman was small and slight, with long, blonde hair that waved to a few inches below her shoulders. She was not, however, wearing clothes typical of a person enjoying themselves in a club ; she was, in fact, wearing pyjamas. Leaning against her, with his arms clinging to her shoulders for support was a tall, lean man with messy, chin length brown hair. He was visibly intoxicated, you only needed to look at his struggle to place one foot in front of the other to know that. Walking was not something Spencer Reid usually had difficulty with. If he had been told that in the future he would have trouble walking, he would panic. But at this moment he just did not care.

JJ helped Spencer up into her SUV. She had to admit, she was not happy about being woken up at three in the morning, but as soon as she heard Spence slurring down the phone, she knew that she needed to pick him up from wherever he was. She would not miss it for the world. JJ only spoke to Spencer for roughly 30 seconds on the phone, but those 30 seconds were so hilarious, she would never forget them.

_Flashback_

JJ reached across her bed to find and possibly destroy her mobile phone, which was ringing extremely loudly at 3AM. She pressed the green answer button, and just listened. She was so tired that she could not be bothered to answer with her usual greeting, so instead, she just lie there.

"JJ, something is really wrong with me, I can't get my legs to work properly, and I think my mouth is on fire." Spencer slurred. JJ tried as hard as she could not to laugh, but a small giggle escaped her lips.

"Spence, are you ok? What's happening, where are you?" She said as she climbed out of bed.

"I'm in a pub somewhere... I don't know. Emily is drinking out of a spade, which I don't understand. The path of alcohol in the body is the mouth, stomach, small intestine, heart, brain and the liver, so it isn't even as if it will speed the process of intoxication."

JJ sighed to herself. Even a drunk Reid would HAVE to still give long, accurate explanations.

"I'm coming to pick you up, ok Spence?" She said caringly.

"Ok JJ. I'm really glad I have speed dial on this mushroom, my fingers are paralysed so I had to use some peanuts to call you."

JJ could not help herself at that moment. She laughed like she never had before, and it echoed all around her apartment.

"See you in a minute Spence"

_End flashback_

They had been driving for about twenty minutes now, and Spencer's house was only about ten minutes farther. For the duration of the journey so far, Spencer had been rambling random facts about "intoxication", as he liked to call it. As much as JJ loved him (though she would never tell him), and as much as his drunken ramblings were adorable, they were also slightly annoying after twenty minutes of them.

"And also, did you know, excessive drinking can decrease the amount of testosterone in a man's body and cause impotence..." Reid paused. His face dropped. The silence alarmed JJ, the drunken genius had not shut up so far. Spencer's face paled.

"OH MY GOD, JJ what if I never have kids!" He yelled.

"Spencer, calm down, excessive drinking means repetitive, over months, and at large quantities. You should know Spence, you're the genius." She teased. However, Spencer did not cease to look horrified.

"No JJ, you don't understand. I know I'm buzzed...I can feel it in my eyes!" He insisted. For the millionth time that evening, JJ tried not to laugh, but as always, she just could not manage. Luckily, she was spared from any more outbursts when she pulled up to Reid's apartment block. JJ helped Spence out of the SUV, sitting him on the ground. She turned to lock the SUV, but when she turned around, she saw the retreating, wobbly figure of an adorable Dr. Spencer Reid.

"I'm just gonna pee on this wall over here..." He said. JJ sprinted towards him to stop him, and succeeded in halting him roughly 2 metres away from the wall.

"Come on Spence, let's get you to bed." She said, pushing him up the stairs towards his appartment. On the way up, she decided not to follow him inside. If it was any other member of the team, JJ would have made sure they got home safely, but she knew that Reid would feel too embarrassed about it in the morning. JJ helped Reid and his shakey hand to open the door of his apartment. She had expected him to wander in of his own accord, but he did not. He just stood there, and then pulled her in for a tight hug.

As much as JJ loved Spencer (in more ways than one), she once again knew he would not be comfortable with it when he was able to recall the night's events in the morning when he woke up, so she pulled away. She sensed Spence staring at her, so she turned to look at him, just in time for him to say:

"Lean your face closer...it's not going to lick itself!"

**A.N:**** So what did you guys think of the adorable drunken Reid?**

**Reviews make the world go round 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: ****Hi again guys!**

**I know I said I didn't see it turning into a multi-chapter piece, but I read through it again earlier, and made a slight plan as to where this could possibly end up. Thanks to Sue1313, who gave a few suggestions **

**I'm not going to bother with a disclaimer, you know I don't own CM, otherwise I would not be writing this!**

The sun rose on another day in Quantico, Virginia. It's long, powerful rays shone through the thin curtains of a third story appartment, lighting the room, and consequently waking it's occupant. He slowly (and painfully) opened his groggy eyes, only to suddenly regret it. Opening his eyes to see the world only caused him to realise the severity of the pounding in his head, and the dryness of his mouth.

"Why on earth do I feel as though someone is drilling into my head?" Spencer thought to himself. Then, he started to remember.

_Flashback._

JJ just stared at him. Spencer couldn't remember why, as soon as it left his mouth, he had no idea what he had said, which was unusual considering his eidetic memory. It was then that he realised he was grinning like an idiot. And he had no clue why. He turned to enter his appartment, but tripped over his own feet whilst turning around, flew sideways, smashed his face against the doorframe and landed face down on the floor. JJ gasped in surprise, but Reid just stood up and straightened himself out again, brushing his hair out of his face, as it had become messy after his 'accident'.

"Spence, are you ok?" she answered. His face had begun to bleed, as he had caught the skin just above his eyebrow on the doorframe. JJ sighed. She couldn't leave him in this state, no matter how uncomfortable he may be in the morning.

"Come on Spence, let's tidy you up" she said, and towed him to his kitchen area. She sat him down on a stool, and began rummaging through his cupboards for a first-aid kit.

"If you're looking for condoms, I don't have any." Spencer stated from his stool. To say JJ was shocked was an understatement. Spencer never said anything like that. She wished she had caught it on tape. She turned round again to apply the dissolvable stitches to his forehead, but stopped quizzically when she saw the confused look on Reid's face.

..."I lost the floor...help me Jayje?" He said. She just smiled, and got on with her job of stitching him up.

_End flashback._

Spencer groaned. He did not even want to think about what else he may or may not have said to JJ last night. He really liked her, and he definitely did not want to mess things up with her. He ran his hands over his face, checking that JJ actually had stitched him up, and it was not one of his drunken hallucinations. He noted the dryness of his mouth again, and decided to get a drink of water, but a quick glance at the clock and calendar sent him into a panic. It was 11.30. On a Monday morning.

He was late for work.

Completely forgetting his need for water, Spencer ran around his appartment like a headless chicken, grabbing clothes and case files. Every movement made his head pound even more, but he could not afford to be any later than he already was.

_Swap points of view!_

JJ took another glance at the clock in the bull pen. It was 11.45. Considering Spence's condition last night, she was honestly not surprised. When she had finally managed to return home after caring for a nearly paralytic Spencer last night, she had only managed to get two and a half hours sleep. However, she did not regret it one bit. Spencer had said some of the most absolutely side-splitting things last night, which she could use against him for years.

She couldn't help but worry for him slightly, she had no clue what had caused him to go out and get drunk by himself, but she vowed to herself that she would find out. She knew that he would not get in trouble, she had already informed Hotch that Reid would be late, telling him that he had been very drunk on the previous evening, and she had no clue when (or if) he would arrive at work.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the glass door opening quietly. In slipped a very hungover, timid Reid. JJ stood to greet him, but was beaten to it by Garcia.

"Hey my little Junior G-man! I heard you got really drunk last night, I'm so proud of you! What happened to your face?" she asked. Reid shifted uncomfortably, so JJ decided to step in.

"All in good time Garcia, at least let him through the door!" She joked. Penelope laughed.

"Ok. Glad you're ok Reid! I've got to get back to my beautiful glossy babies." She said. As she walked away, JJ moved closer to Reid.

"How are you Spence? You look like Hell." She said. Reid rolled his eyes. Then regretted it.

"Gee thanks JJ. I don't really know why I look like Hell, it's not like I was _that_ drunk…" Reid mumbled. JJ sniggered.

"You were Reid, don't you remember? 'Have you seen my lips? Have they come through here? I can't find my lips!" and then you started saying, "If you see my lips, tell them I'm looking for them!'" She said in a perfect imitation of him. Reid blushed a deep red, with perfect timing. Just as Morgan was coming over.

"Oooh what's going on here then?" He said in teasing-yet-protective voice.

JJ decided she could have fun with this. She could embarrass Reid, whilst reminding him just how funny he had been last night.

"Oh nothing Morgan. We were just discussing Reid and his 'magic water'". She said as she smirked at him. Reid's face paled, while Derek laughed. He didn't push her, so JJ decided to continue.

"Turns out Spence was hungry. He told me he'd 'eat his foot if it was wrapped in bacon and fried in butter'".

**A.N: ****So what did you guys think? I'm sorry its not as humorous as the first chapter, but that is because we do not see much of drunk Reid in this chapter, it's more of the consequences.**

**Do you want another chapter? Possibly more Drunk Reid?**

**Let me know 3**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N: ****So here is your next chapter of 'Intoxication' Thank you so much for your reviews, you are very kind! Drop me a line letting me know what you think and what you want to happen next!**

It had been a week since Spencer had his 'incident' with the pub. It had been a week of hard work; the team had an extremely emotionally draining case, which made him feel even worse. He felt bad to begin with, because even though he had an eidetic memory, he still could not remember why he went out and got drunk by himself, or anything else really. The only thing he really remembered was telling JJ that he did not have any condoms. Why on earth did he even say that? JJ was one of his best friends (though he wished she was more), luckily he didn't scare her off during his stupidly drunk episode.

Spencer climbed the stairs to his appartment, lugging his go-bag behind him. He juggled his various bags and empty cup of coffee, and pulled out the key to his appartment. Pushing the door open, he stumbled in, nearly tripping over the large pile of mail that had accumulated on his mat during the five days he had been away. Reid sighed, and made his way to his bed, where he dumped his luggage. On arriving back in the hall, he scooped up all his mail. He began sorting through them on his way to the living room, when he noticed one of interest : the postage stamp on the back said it was posted from Bennington Sanatorium. He made his way to the sofa, and opened the envelope with an avid interest ; he was always interested in his mother's progress.

Reid read the letter quickly due to his extreme reading speed. He felt as though he had been punched in the stomach ; his mother was in the hospital after attacking several care workers due to a violent schizophrenic episode, and had broken her arm in the process. She had many shards of glass in her arm, but was refusing treatment. Therefore, the doctors had had to sedate her, but, because they did not know her weight they had had to guess, and she had not yet woken up. That was two days ago.

Reid knew it was irresponsible. He knew it was reckless. But he just could not face up to the facts, and go to see her. He needed a drink.

_Sometime later..._

"This is starting to become a bit of a habit Reid" JJ teased as she helped him from the pub again. Spencer turned his head to look at her, but he wasn't looking _at _her. His eyes were completely unfocussed.

"My eyes feel like they're going to fall out of their head Jayje, have we got any superglue?" He asked, pouting like a lost puppy. JJ snickered. She was SO writing that one down.

"Spencer, you can't put superglue in your eyes. Don't you know what happens?" She asked.

"You can see?" He said simply. JJ just rolled her eyes. She did not want to continue this conversation. If she did, he would be going on all night.

"So, JJ, I was talking to a pine cone earlier." Spencer slurred. JJ giggled. If this became a pattern, she was going to keep a tape recorder in her bag at all times, _just in case._

"Really, Spence?" She said, shamelessly seeming eager to egg him on.

"Yeah, he told me everything about life." Spencer said earnestly. JJ nodded, indicating that he should continue.

"The pine cone?" She questioned.

" Yeah, he knows a lot. He told me all about the purpose of life."

"Okay, what did he say?" She said, pushing him further.

"He told me about life. He was really wise."

"What did he tell you about life?" She said, trying to get a straight answer out of him, whilst encouraging him to continue.

"Pine cones are really wise. He told me all about life."

"Okay Hun." JJ just nodded, admitting defeat. She gave Spencer her hand, and helped him up and into her SUV.

Spencer reached to buckle himself in, but fumbled to actually get the end of his seatbelt to click in. In frustration, he started to cry. At this moment JJ was just getting into her side of the car, when she saw Reid crying. She put a hand on his shoulder.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" She said, honestly worrying about him.

"The seatbelt won't click itself, I have teeth, and you're pretty" he said, crying uncontrollably. JJ snickered as she rubbed soothing circles into his back.

"Can I have coffee?" He said, shooting up in his seat and hitting his head on the ceiling. JJ just nodded.

"Sure Spence, come on, let's go" she said, as she pulled the handbrake off and pulled away from the curb.

_Half an hour later..._

Spencer looked around in confusion.

"This isn't my appartment JJ... what is going on? You're not going to rape me are you?" He said, looking panicked. She simply guided him to her sofa, and sat him down.

"Just stay there Spence, I'll go and make you some coffee" She said. Spencer grinned like a child on Christmas day, and nodded rapidly.

JJ walked through her living room and into the kitchen, and switched on the kettle. She reached across and found the coffee granules and a mug, and fixed them so that she could make Reid his much needed cup of coffee. She had to admit it, this behaviour was very unlike Spencer. She wasn't completely sure, but she thought the last time she picked Reid up from the pub was the first time he became 'intoxicated'. Before that he had always told her that he did not see the point in getting drunk, when he could be at home reading and watching episodes of Star Trek like the hardcore fanatic nerd that he was.

When the kettle came near to boiling, JJ thought she could hear crashing in the front room, but decided to ignore it. Whatever Reid had done could be fixed easily when she managed to get him to sleep in the spare room. The kettle boiled, and she made the coffee.

"Spencer, your coffee is ready!" She said, but froze in to doorway at what she saw.

Dr Spencer Reid, who graduated from a public high school at age twelve and went to Cal Tech (with Yale as his safety school) at thirteen where he earned three doctorates in Mathematics, Chemistry and Engineering by the age of twenty one, was asleep under her dining room table, wearing no trousers, and hugging her iron.

**A.N: ****So what did you think guys? **

**I'm sorry this may be a bit shorter/worse quality than the first chapter, but I'm trying to get into the habit of updating every night, and I didn't have much time today!**

**If you do one thing today, please let it be to click the review button!**

**x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys! I'm so so sorry you've had to wait this long for an update, my dog chewed through my laptop charger when I wasn't looking, and so my laptop died :'( Hope not too many at yo****u ****are mad at me, it wasn't my fault!**

Spencer Reid had never remembered birds chirping so loudly in his life. The noise of them seemed to cut right through his head, causing pain right behind his eye balls. No matter how tightly he squeezed his eyes shut, he could not block them out nor fall back to sleep. Slowly, so as to minimise the pain as much as possible, he lifted his head to squint around his room to find something to shut the stupid birds up. Maybe he had a cat hidden somewhere.

Wait.

What? Why would he, genius Reid have hidden a cat somewhere in his appartment? What was going on with him? Reid tried to dig back into his eidetic memory, but found the previous night's events missing. That worried him. On instinct he jumped out of the bed, only to smack part of his anatomy he felt rather attached to against a chest of drawers. Which should not have been there either. Blinded by pain, Spencer fell back against the bed, and in doing so realised that he was not in his room. Someone had kidnapped him.

That was the only answer; the last thing Spencer remembered was going to the pub. What if someone had spiked his drink with rohypnol like that stupid "Hangover" movie that made no sense to him and was not humorous at all? Taking in his surroundings, Spencer found them to be vaguely familiar. Something about them was calling to him to remember where he was, but he just couldn't.

"Must be the rohypnol" he thought to himself.

Doing the only thing that seemed rational to him in that moment, Spencer Reid pulled his gun from his belt. He crept slowly (and painfully) to the door, where he stood to the left of it, ready to burst through it at any second.

"3, 2, 1" he counted to himself before he burst through the door, guns blazing. On leaving the room he spotted a blonde asleep on the sofa. Keeping his wits about him, Reid crept towards the sofa. He edged around the side, only to drop his gun almost immediately when he realised it was only JJ.

But how had he come to be asleep on JJ's sofa?

Try as he may, he could not for the life of him remember what had happened. He scanned the room for clues, and spotted that the iron was underneath the table, but apart from that nothing seemed out of place. It was then that he spotted a hand written note on the coffee table.

_Spencer,_

_Knowing you, you probably woke up with absolutely no recollection of last night's events. I promise you, nothing bad happened (at least I don't think so), so don't freak out, ok? You can only be reading this if I'm still asleep, I only slept out here because you had a few nightmares in the night, and I thought it was easier for me to be out here in case something happened. _

_Help yourself to coffee or whatever you fancy in the kitchen; I've no doubt you remember where it is._

_JJ x_

_Oh and Spence, I know you'll feel awkward if you wake up before me and feel like you have to sneak out, but please, stick around?_

The Dr read the note in only a few seconds, and could not help but feel his stomach tingle at the fact that JJ wanted him to stay until she woke up. He also felt awful that he had kept her up in the night, but also confused, as he had only ever had nightmares during his period on drugs after his 'Tobias Hankle episode'. He was incredibly grateful that JJ had done so much for him so far; she had picked him up awfully intoxicated on numerous episodes, let him stay in her appartment, put up with his nightmares, constant rambling and even slept on the sofa for him.

Or perhaps he was reading this all wrong. After all. He was awful with women.

After a few minutes, the coffee was brewing, and Reid was wracking his genius-ness to try and come up with something he could do for JJ. Then, he had an idea.

Scrawling a note for JJ in case she woke up when he was gone, Reid quietly left the appartment, not before borrowing JJ's keys so he could get back in, and left for his destination.

Half an hour later, Reid was back with his gift, which to him seemed cliché but was reassured but the owner of the shop that JJ would appreciate it.

Later that morning, JJ awoke to a fresh cup of coffee and a bouquet of flowers from a grateful, yet awfully hung over Dr Spencer Reid.

**I hope you like it! It doesn't really have much of a plot and its a lot shorter than other chapters, but I needed something to ease myself back into it. After all, it's been over a month since I updated. Sorry again! 3**

**Please review ! x**


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer sat fiddling with the hem of his shirt, anxiously waiting for JJ to wake up. At first, the whole 'coffee and flowers' thing seemed like a good idea, but now Spencer wasn't so sure. After all, he wasn't even sure what he had done the previous night. Also, Spencer had no idea if this was even what girls liked. Sure, in the many thousands of books he had read, and television programmes he had watched with his mother, all girls liked a bit of romance, to be treated with respect. But what was confusing Spencer was that he was not sure if what he had done was appropriate for the situation.

Not that he knew what the situation was.

After considering the endless possibilities of what could happen within seconds, Spencer decided that what he had done WAS appropriate. It was up to JJ how she responded. If she wanted to see it as Spencer just apologising for what happened, then everything would be fine. If she decided to see it a different way and try to take things further, who was he to complain?

Spencer walked to the bathroom next to the room he had slept in, and looked at himself in the mirror. Spencer was in no way vain, but he was horrified to look in the mirror and see that he had left the house looking like that this morning. He quite literally looked like hell. Splashing water on his face and running his fingers through his hair, Reid checked himself over in the mirror again. This time he looked at least more presentable than on his first inspection.

As he re-entered the room, he saw that JJ was sitting up on the sofa, drinking her coffee.

"Hey", he said quietly, pausing to lean on the doorframe. JJ turned quickly, a smile plastered across her face.

"Spencer! How are you feeling? And thank you for the flowers, they are gorgeous. How did you know that gerbras are my favourite?" She said quickly.  
>Spencer chuckled quietly to himself.<p>

"I'm feeling very sore actually, in more than one place. And I've got an eidetic memory, remember?" He said teasingly. JJ pouted, before crossing the room to engulf the skinny Reid in a huge hug. Reid smiled to himself as he reciprocated the hug.

"Erm, Jayje, would you mind erm, filling me in on erm, what happened, erm, last night?" Spencer asked, stumbling over his words adorably in an effort to get the out as quickly as possible.

"Sure Spencer, come on, let's sit back down" she said. Spencer led the way to the sofas, and to his surprise, instead of sitting opposite him, she sat next to him, with her feet in his lap.

"Ok, well you rang me at some ridiculous hour completely drunk out of your head, I came to pick you up because I was concerned as to what would happen if there was a drunken genius on the loose. When I got there you tried to persuade me to let you superglue your eyes into your head, told me about a conversation you had had with a pine cone, and fell asleep underneath my table hugging my iron" JJ finished, looking up to see Spencer looking completely horrified.

"Why did you go out and get drunk by yourself Spence?" She asked delicately. Spencer hesitated, but with some encouragement from the blonde sitting next to him, he proceeded to tell her what had happened when he returned to his apartment.

"You don't need to worry, Spencer, I know you're worrying that because your mother is schizophrenic, you could be too, but I promise you, I highly doubt it. Think about all the people you have saved with that excellent brain of yours, someone on the team would have noticed by now if you were, they're profilers, remember?" She said, moving closer to him on the sofa so that she could give him another hug.  
>Reid could not help but tear up at JJ's mini-speech, she may not have realised it, but it had meant a lot to him.<p>

"Thanks, JJ" Reid said, looking up at her, only to find that she was a lot closer than he had estimated.

And he froze.

He could not help himself, he just found himself staring into JJ's eyes, and could not pull himself away. He had not noticed before the way that her blue eyes had flecks of hazel around the pupil, or the sheer depth of her eyes. He saw JJ glance down at his lips briefly before snapping back to his eyes.

They both leaned in slowly.

And then, the doorbell rang. Just as their lips were about to touch.

"I'll get it!" Reid almost shouted, awkwardly running to the front door and inwardly cursing whoever was at the front door. Yanking it open,Reid saw that it was none other than Emily.

"Oh, hi Reid?" Emily said just as awkwardly as he felt.

"In the living room Em!" JJ shouted from her spot on the sofa.

Without even considering his move, Reid re-entered the room, and hugged JJ, quickly muttering his gratitude, and apologies for being such a hassle, and saying that he had to leave.

"I'll show you out" said JJ awkwardly, rising from the sofa and pretending to ignore the red hot stare of Emily on the middle of her back. She followed Spencer to the front door, where she hugged him again.

"Call me later, will you Spence? When you get home?"

"Sure JJ, listen, thank you, again " he said. And with a smile, he left the apartment.

Though frustrated with Emily for choosing that moment to ring the doorbell, Reid was still happy. After all. It could have gone much worse.

A.N - I'm sorry if it's short guys, this was written as an email on my phone! I know the formatting looks a little wierd! :(  
>Please review, much love to you all!<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! I know I often make excuses and say I've been busy, but in the last few months a lot of stuff has happened to me, but I won't go on about that here...**

**Anyway, here's the next chapter!**

It had been exactly two weeks and five days since the infamous near-kiss scene between Spencer and JJ. However, as usual, things did not turn out in the way that Spencer would have liked, and so things were more than awkward between the two of them. As he had promised, Spencer _had _called JJ on arriving home, but he had kept the call to the bare minimum, and made it as short as he possibly could. He knew it wasn't rational, but he couldn't help feeling that JJ deserved someone better. Someone that could give her more than he could. Someone without the threat of developing schizophrenia hanging over them constantly. Someone that wasn't him.

Suddenly, a bunch of files were dropped onto Spencer's desk, jogging him out of his thoughts. This was becoming far too much of a regular occurrence; for him to be wasting time at work daydreaming about JJ...the way she moved, the way her hair blew around her face in the wind, the way her skirt –

"Hey Reid... Reid...Pretty boy...come on, snap out of it man!" Morgan's voice cut through Spencer's thoughts, just when his daydream was beginning to get good. This irritated him slightly, but Spencer knew it was for the best.

"Hey, sorry Morgan, I was just erm...counting as many prime numbers as I can in two minutes." Reid said, trying to make excuses for himself. But you didn't need BAU profiling skills to know that Derek wasn't buying it.

"Uhuh, sure Pretty Boy. ANYWAY, I was just checking that our resident genius / renowned party animal is still coming to my house party tonight," The older man said with a grin, staring Reid right in the eyes with a knowing smile, "EVERYONE is coming, even JJ." He added. Spencer's eyes visibly lit up at the mention of JJ, and he nodded rapidly.

"Sure Morgan, I mean, I know I already told you I'd come, but I'll be there!" He said with a grin.

Morgan chuckled to himself. This kid was far too easy to manipulate.

"See you later kid. Don't worry about bringing any drink with you, I'm all stocked up" he said with a wink, and left without another word.

_Later, after a hard day of catching bad guys..._

Spencer excitedly pressed Morgan's doorbell repeatedly, until he could see Derek's shadow through the translucent glass of the front door. He was completely exhausted from a day at the BAU, but he was also incredibly eager to spend some time with his colleagues out of the work setting. However, it would probably seem to anybody else as though Spencer was just dying to get absolutely wasted.

Morgan wrenched open the door, to find a hyperactive looking Spencer, bouncing on the spot to try and keep warm. Derek quietly ushered him inside, prompting him to take off his coat and shoes, and follow him into his living room, where the rest of the team (minus Hotch, who was running late, as usual) were sitting, each holding their own bottle of varying types of alcohol. To an onlooker, or any other FBI member, this would seem surreal, but to Spencer, who had seen more in his short life than probably the oldest human ever alive, seeing Emily surrounded by vodka bottles could be compared to seeing a monkey with a banana.

"Spencerrrrrr" Emily slurred from across the room, and stumbled her way across the room, tripping over Rossi in the process, to hug Reid, who just laughed.

"Looks like you guys started without me!" He joked. Emily nodded hastily, tugging him over to her corner and thrusting a bottle of vodka into his arms.

"Lets play a game!" She grinned. Reid rolled his eyes. This could get messy.

"Yeah, let's play never have I ever!" Said JJ.

Reid sighed. He would have to agree with himself. This would definitely get messy.

_Some time later..._

The team, by this time (and the addition of Hotch), were well on their way to being completely totalled. Morgan was practically lying on top of Garcia, while Emily was attempting to stand on her head. And now it was Dave's turn...

"Never have I ever...shaved my balls" Rossi choked out in a fit of giggles. Emily, JJ,, Garcia and Hotch watched in amusement as Morgan picked up his glass to drink. Their expressions quickly changed to amazement as Reid also joined him in chugging down his vodka. Emily laughed, shaking her head, but Penelope felt she had to contribute.

"Reid, you secret kinky bitch" she said, which sent the whole team into hysterical laughter. Hotch called quiet so that JJ could have her turn, and slowly but surely the team began to quieten down.

"Ok," she started, " never have I ever... been given a lapdance by someone I don't know" JJ said. Quickly, without pause, every single team member drank. Including Spencer. JJ could not believe her eyes. Perhaps Reid wasn't as innocent as everyone first thought. This game could definitely get interesting.

As time continued, the entire team was shocked by the amount of times Spencer drank at their statements. They were shocked when he admitted to streaking, but when Derek said "Never have I ever fornicated with a nun" and Reid drank, they were beginning to wonder if it was just the alcohol playing on their brains.

"Guys, I need to go pee, I'll be right back. By the way, touch my magic water and .. You get me?" Spencer said, stumbling from the room, unhinging his belt as he went. Minutes later, a crash was heard from the hallway. Ever the most responsible, Aaron decided he would be the one to check on the young doctor. As he walked round the corner, Aaron found it difficult to control his laughter, which was a rare occurrence for him. The bookcase which was against a wall in the hall, was dripping with vodka (though Aaron had absolutely no idea where Reid had got it from). If he was sober, Aaron would have panicked, considering that many first-edition copies of books now stank of alcohol, but his mind was not capable of that, given the amount of alcohol he had just consumed.

Sitting next to the bookcase was Reid, gently stroking the wooden panels of the side.

"I'm so sorry that I've covered you in my magic water. I promise that one day I will make it up to you. You never know, we could go ad watch a baseball game or something, once you've dried out and Derek's got the smell out of you. Don't look at me like that, it's not my fault, I just finished pee-ing, I came out of the door, and you were, in the way! I couldn't help but trip up on you!"

Aaron sniggered.

"I know how I can make it up to you! I can tell you stories! Jesus brain, why didn't you tell me this before, you _idiot._ Ok, so this one time, I went fishing, and I caught this fish, and it was left handed..."

**Please review!**

**Lessthanthree :D**

**Paggle x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey Hey Hey!**

**Who is ready for another chapter?**

**I AM!**

Aaron Hotchner was a workaholic. He wasn't afraid to admit that to himself. After all, what was the point in denying it? Everyone at the BAU knew that he was the first into the bullpen, and the last to leave the office, always had a bag packed ready to leave at the drop of a hat, and consequently hadn't spent much quality time with his son Jack. Even with this stinking hangover from Morgan's house party, he knew that he should take advantage of the free day he had, and take Jack out somewhere special.

Though he had no clue where.

Sitting at his dining room table, holding a mug of coffee and staring into space thinking (and feeling awfully like Reid), Aaron pondered about the places he could take Jack. The zoo? Cliché, and besides, the monkeys freaked Jack out. The cinema? There were no films that were in the least bit suitable for Jack to be watching.

In the end, Hotch settled for the good, old-fashioned picnic-and-football-in-the-park affair. Nodding to himself, he rose slowly to his feet, deposited his dirty coffee mug in the sink, and began his descent up the stairs to Jack's bedroom, where his young son lay sound asleep. Pausing in the doorway, Hotch regarded Jack's sleeping form. The way he clung to his bedcovers as if his life depended on it was absolutely adorable, his small face scrunching as the light, streaming in from the landing hit his tired eyes. Quietly, Aaron made his way across the room, and began to shake his son gently.

"Jack, buddy, come on, it's time to get up little man" he said. Slowly, Jack opened his eyes, staring expressionlessly for a moment, until his eyes focused on his father's face. He smiled, which quickly turned into a yawn as he stretched to wake himself up.

"Good morning daddy" he said, "do you have to go work a case today?" he asked, pouting slightly, and widening his eyes. Hotch chuckled to himself. Yep, definitely a workaholic.

"No buddy, I don't have to go to work today, so I thought you and I could make a picnic and go to the park?" he said. Jack nodded ecstatically, jumping out of bed and hugging his father's legs.

"Yay! Daddy doesn't have to fight bad days today. Can we take cookies?" He said happily. Aaron just nodded, and allowed himself to be pulled back down the stairs by his hyperactive son.

_A few hours later_

The picnic was finally complete. Aaron and Jack (who had somehow managed to get jam smeared across his forehead) stood looking at it proudly for a second, until it was time to go. Jack ran to the hallway, and put on his trainers, struggling to tie them accurately, but tying them nonetheless. He grabbed his dark blue coat with the fluffy hood that kept his ears warm, roughly shoving it on, before running back into the kitchen to grab his father's hand, tugging him into the hallway and thrusting his shoes and coat at him. Aaron took in his son's happiness, glad that such a simple trip could make him so excitable. He really should do this more often. Hotch quickly got ready to leave, grabbed the picnic basket, and they were away.

Once arriving in the park, Aaron allowed Jack to choose where they would eat their picnic. Jack (being his father's son) chose a sensible spot underneath a large tree. The pair had fun setting up the picnic; Hotch chased Jack around the park with the picnic blanket pretending to be a ghost, and Jack hid underneath the blanket, not before informing Aaron that it was, in fact, Harry Potter's cloak of invisibility.

The pair were having a blast. Hotch bit into his jam sandwich, his face turning quickly to disgust after a few mouthfuls when he realised that Jack had put a rather large dollop of Marmite in the middle of the sandwich. This caused Jack to roll around the rug in hysterical laughter at his father's expression. Luckily, Aaron could see the funny side of the situation, and politely told Jack that he'd pass on the rest of the sandwich.

Jack was in the middle of telling his father the story of what happened when Josie put a drawing pin on Miss Cooper's chair, when Aaron's phone began to ring. Hotch looked apologetically at his son, before answering it and walking away (though still keeping a line of vision on his son). Jack just shrugged, used to this occurrence, and continued eating his cookies, giggling when a small crowd of pigeons gathered to eat the crumbs. Hotch quickly returned to his son, cursing his job as he went.

"Listen buddy, I've gotta go for a while, someone broke in at the place where daddy works, and I've gotta go check it out, but I'm just texting one of my friends, they're going to come and play with you for a while, alright?" He said quickly. At first, Jack looked disappointed, but at the mention of Aaron's friends, his little face lit up. He hoped it was that Penny lady, her pretty clothes with all the colours made him laugh.

"Yay, Daddy's friends!" He chimed. Hotch laughed, before turning to his phone. This could be tricky, the team was supposed to have a guaranteed free weekend, and the team were bound to have friends. He scrolled quickly through the team's details. Emily, he knew, was visiting a friend in a nearby town. Dave was probably off trying to patch up an old romance, Penelope and Derek were visiting Derek's family, which just left Spencer and JJ.

Sending them both a text explaining the situation and begging them to come to his aid, Spencer Reid quickly replied, stating that he had nothing better to do, so he may as well babysit.

Hotch was immensely grateful, replying to Reid that he would get extra days off for this. After hitting send, Hotch received another text. It was from JJ.

"Great", Hotch thought to himself, "I can't exactly tell one of them not to bother coming, they've probably both left by now." He decided to just leave it. After all, who knew. Maybe this was just what they needed.

_Twenty minutes later_

Hotch and Aaron were playing football in the park, when Spencer rounded the corner, and made his way over to them. Jack, ever the excitable child, spotted him and ran over.

" 'pencer! 'pencer! Yay, you've come to play!" He shrieked, throwing himself at Reid's legs, who just tittered at his boss' son's antics. After agreeing with Hotch the 'what to do and what not to do's' of caring for his son, Aaron left hastily for the BAU building. Spencer grinned at the young boy, asking him what he wanted to play.

"I wanna play cowboys and Indians!" He yelled, "I'll be the cowboy and you can be the Indian!" Spencer laughed, but agreed all the same.

When JJ arrived at the park, she was amazed at what she saw.

Little Jack Hotchner was running around the park, screaming 'I'm gonna get you!', while Spencer Reid, the smartest person anybody could ever meet, was running around, fluttering his hand over his mouth to make Indian noises, dancing a traditional Indian dance on the spot. Whenever Jack got too close, he would run away, and then resume his dancing.

JJ laughed. She couldn't help it. She laughed so much that she had to sit down on a nearby bench. Spencer obviously spotted her, and alerted Jack, as he came running over to throw his short arms around her. Automatically, JJ put her arms around him and hoisted him up, so that he was sitting on her hip.  
>"Hey big boy! What are you doing?" She asked. Jack giggled, and pointed at Spencer with a chubby finger.<p>

" 'pencer and me were playing cowboys and Indians!" He exclaimed happily. JJ smiled warmly. This little boy was so adorable!

"Yeah, I saw! Spencer is a good Indian, don't you think? What good dancing he was doing!" She said, winking at Reid, who visibly blushed, obviously under the impression that she hadn't see him doing the dance.

"No," Jack said, shaking his head solemnly, " 'pencer is a rubbish Indian!" He said. JJ held back a giggle.

"Oh, why is that buddy?" She asked.

"He needs a haircut. If I was a real cowboy, I wouldn't have chased him, because I would have confuddled him for a girl Indian!" He said!

Spencer visibly paled. There was nothing wrong with his hair...

Was there?

**REVIEEEWW!**

**Also, this is the longest chapter so far!**

**Hope you enjoyed the interactions of one Aaron Hotchner with his son!**

**Let's see if we can make it to 60 reviews?**

**Paggle x**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Hi guys, I'm so so sorry that this hasn't been updated in so long, I promise that there is a very good reason, but I won't write it out here, because it isn't the time or the place. ANYWAY. I hope you guys don't hate me too much for not updating quickly, and I hope you enjoy the next instalment.**

A few weeks later:

Case after case had poured in at the BAU, flooding the team of profilers and making them lose some faith in humanity. Surely the human race would get bored of killing sometime soon?

Spencer Reid glanced across the bullpen to subtly watch Jennifer Jareau as she flipped through her stack of paperwork. As she read, her forehead wrinkled slightly as she fought to concentrate. She couldn't afford to re-read the sentence for the fifth time; she knew that Spencer was watching her, and she didn't want him to realise that something was wrong. Truth be told, she couldn't get the moment that they had almost kissed out of her head. It popped into her mind at the most inconvenient of moments, and now appeared to be one of those times.

She couldn't help but wonder what it would have been like if Emily hadn't chosen that precise moment to turn up on her doorstep. It was something that she had been considering for a long time, but judging from Spencer's lack of experience and comfort in that field, she wasn't sure if she could bring it up with him. What with the recent accident involving Spencer's mother, JJ didn't want to worry him with anything else.

God knows he didn't need to turn to drink again.

**Flashback, one week ago.**

Somewhere in the pitch-black darkness, a phone began to ring. Slowly, a hand sleeping crept its way across the mattress, searching desperately to turn off the infernal racket. Realising that it was a friend calling, otherwise the phone would have been on silent, the owner pressed 'answer' and quietly listened to what the person who had _woken her up _had to say for themselves.

"Heeeeey JJ" Reid slurred down the phone, "JJ, I freaking love you, you know that right? I love you this much! You can't see me, but I'm stretching my arms really wide to show you, see? Can you see?" JJ's heart stopped in her chest. Though she knew that Spence was, yet again, very drunk, she could not help but feel butterflies in her stomach at hearing him tell her that he loved her. Thinking rationally, she knew that he was struggling at the moment, and that she should go and pick him up from whatever hell hole he had found himself in this time.

"Spence, where are you?" she asked softly, whilst getting out of bed and feeling around for clothes so that she could leave the house.

"I'm at my appartment. Jayje...what's wrong with me?" mumbled Spencer as he began to sob quietly down the phone. JJ felt her heart break for him, and she quickened her search for clothes.

"Nothing is wrong with you honey...I'll be there in a second ok?"

...

JJ took a deep, calming breath before knocking on the door to Spencer's appartment. She knew that she had to appear collected, for Spencer's sake. She hadn't seen him in a while as he had been in Vegas with his mother Diana at the hospital after her accident, so she supposed that this drunken episode was a result of whatever had happened in Vegas. Trembling slightly, JJ knocked on the door. She heard a crash from inside, causing her to flinch slightly. She had half hoped that Dr Reid had fallen asleep during her drive over to where he lived, and that she could use the spare key she had to his flat, let herself in, move him to bed and talk about it with him in the morning.

But it seemed that this was not the case.

The door was opened by Reid quickly, causing him to lose his balance and grab the doorframe for support. JJ rushed forward, wrapping her arms around his waist to give him more support as she helped him regain his balance.

"Hi JJ! What are you doing here?" He said, grinning. JJ took a moment to take in his appearance. His cardigan was half on, half off, his tie was almost undone and appeared to be hanging on by a thread, and he had what appeared to be ketchup down one side of his face. Wordlessly, she took him by the hand and led him to the kitchen, where she proceeded to wet a towel and clean the tomato sauce from the side of his face.

"You called me Spence, remember?" she said. Recognition flashed through Spencer's eyes as he nodded his head silently. JJ smiled, and pulled the lanky doctor into a hug. Reid nuzzled his head into her shoulder, grateful for the comfort after the day he had had. Unable to completely relax, Spencer pulled away from her.

"JJ...why do I feel really funny?" he said, slurring slightly. Looking around the kitchen, JJ spotted an empty Vodka bottle. Holding it up to him, she pointed at it.

"This would be why, Spencer. Was this bottle full before you started drinking it?" She said, feeling as if she were lecturing a small child rather than a fully grown man. Spencer shrugged, indicating that he couldn't remember. He turned, stumbling his way into the living room to sit down. He paused for a moment in the centre of the room, and began to wobble. Before JJ could get there, it was too late. Spencer's head rolled back slightly, as he passed out standing up, and fell forwards. Luckily, he was near the sofa and bounced – face first- off the sofa, and back to standing again.

Rolling her eyes, JJ rushed forwards to grab him. Gently, she guided him to bed and tucked him in. As she left, Reid reached out and grabbed her wrist. As she turned around, Reid mumbled so quietly that, at first, JJ thought she had imagined it.

"JJ...will you stay with me?"

Lifting the covers, JJ quietly slipped into bed next to the already sleeping, very drunk Doctor Reid.

They could talk about this in the morning.

**Back to the present day.**

The more paperwork the team filled out, the more bored they became. It felt like, no matter how often they glanced at the clock, the hands did not move at all. Deciding that she had had enough of paperwork and needed a break, JJ decided to take a trip to visit Garcia.

Her heels tapped as she made her way down the hallway of the FBI to visit the technical analyst's office. Without bothering to knock, JJ let herself in, and felt an immediate sense of relief. Garcia's office was exactly the breath of fresh air that she needed. Though the walls were covered in countless monitors, Penelope's desk was covered in an array of multicoloured objects. There were pencils sticking out of her hair, and she wore a bright pink cardigan. A welcome change from a day full of paperwork.

"JJ! What can I do for you sweetness?" She said in her ever-perky fashion. JJ grinned, and explained that she didn't need anything except a distraction from the growing mountain of paperwork on her desk. Understanding her dilemma, Garcia grinned wickedly.

"Wanna sneak out for lunch? I'm sure we could get out-" she rushed.

"I can't, Garcia, I promised Spencer that we'd go grab lunch later. Sorry!" She said apologetically. Garcia nodded, understanding the special bond that the pair had.

"Hey, is my junior G-man ok? He's seemed a little off recently, and I would hate to think that anything is wrong with him, he's just too cute to have problems!" Garcia asked JJ.

"He's fine, Garcia, don't worry about it. He's Reid – the definition of eccentric. He's not going to act normal all the time" she said, laughing at herself. Seemingly appeased, Garcia nodded. Glancing at the clock, JJ noted that it was only a few minutes until she was supposed to be meeting Reid. She excused herself from Garcia's 'room of fun' and made her way back down to the bullpen.

She and Reid had a lot to talk about. Especially if other people were starting to notice that something wasn't quite right with his behaviour.

**AN: Sorry it's not much guys, I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing again, but it is taking a while! I know that not a lot happens in this chapter, but I'm setting up for the next one! Promise!**

**Please review!**


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